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‘American Idol’ Builds Up to a Rousing, Earth-Shattering Yawn!

Idol winner Jordin SparksCourtesy of FOX

The big surprise during American Idol's final episode last night wasn't that Blake Lewis failed to slay the giant, 17-year-old Jordin Sparks, or that producers played up Sanjaya to the point of nausea, or that Idols aren't fit to interpret the Beatles' trippiest album. It was that the two-hour yawn of an extravaganza left us with almost nothing to talk about. What did the critics find worthy of discussion?Caryn Ganz

"Unlike past years when it felt like a game up until the final reveal, Wednesday night's two-hour-plus results show seemed more like an exercise in postponing the inevitable, packed with goofy fake awards, celebrity sing-alongs, medleys and — strangely — not that much face time for the actual finalists." [MTV]

"Jordin's acceptance speech: Appropriately pageanty. And Paula is crying! And so are we because this song is even worse than 'Wind Beneath My Wings.'" [Idolator]

"Jordin's victory will be news to those who DVRed the show and tried to watch the conclusion later; they were screwed because with one minute and 36 seconds left in the show's scheduled timeslot, another series of $1.3 million, 30-second commercials started. The show didn't return until nearly 10:03, Ryan announced the winner just before 10:05, and it all finally ended at 10:09." [Reality Blurred]

"The thing is, the Idol finale should not be confused with the Grammys, or the American Music Awards, or even 'Idol Gives Back.' And it most certainly shouldn't be used as a vehicle to promote some megastar's latest single, or a new Vegas casino gig, or Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?." [EW]

"Do either of these singers have a career? ... Sanjaya, on the other hand, just might keep on ticking beyond his 15 minutes. He may not be able to sing, but he's got a personality well-suited for some glib Ryan Seacrest-type of role — and that's more than most 'Idol'
competitors can claim." [Chicago Tribune]