Paris Hilton’s Arrest: A Sihn of the Times

“My friend Joshua started this petition, please help and sihn it. i LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!” —Paris Hilton, on a petition asking Governor Schwarzenegger to pardon her from 45 days in jail [MySpace]

“Yo, I need a bigger table — I got six bitches with me.” —Clubber Kevin Federline, who later hijacked a microphone from Kid Rock to solicit applications for new baby mamas [NYP]

“We met somewhere in the middle. It was somewhere like a bulletproof designer necktie.” —Justin Timberlake, on whether collaborating with 50 Cent brought out his hard side [MTV]

“Lindsay Lohan thinks she is going to play me! But what the hell movie does she think she’s talking about? There is no book, there is no screenplay, there is no movie … Even though a lot has been written about me, the fact is nobody actually has a clue to what my life was really like. So good luck, Lindsay.” —Stevie Nicks [Blender]

“I had no frame of reference. It was kind of like somebody going, ‘I’m gonna go to the bank and get a million dollars.’ It just doesn’t work that way.” — 30 Rock actor Jack McBrayer, who once tried writing himself into a Will & Grace episode as Jack McFarland’s cousin [MSN]
—Lindsey Thomas