the weekend read

‘Stop the Presses: Fat Alcoholic Once Attempted Moustache’

Every Friday Vulture finds a great story that’s a little too long to read on the computer screen. Fiction, long-form narrative journalism, epic blog sagas — any of these could be your Weekend Read. Print it out on the office printer, smuggle it home, and curl up with it after brunch.

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“You know Molly Donaldson? He told her he was a Notary Public and a licensed massage therapist just to get her to have a drink with him. But he got her too drunk, and they both passed out on the bench over there.”

“Wait a second,” I said. “First, I didn’t get too drunk — that was my plan to pass out next to her. Second, you’re supposed to lie to women. If you count lying on dates, then every man in here’s a liar ten times over.”

“That wasn’t a date,” Pops said. “You just got her drunk.”

“All right then,” I said, “but if that’s not a date, then I’ve never been on a date in my life.”

This week’s Weekend Read is “Kid in a Well,” a hilarious short story of barroom tall tales by Willie Davis. Zadie Smith chose the story as the winner of the 2007 Willesden Herald short-story prize. And if the story’s good enough for Zadie Smith, isn’t it good enough for you?

Kid in a Well [The Guardian]

‘Stop the Presses: Fat Alcoholic Once Attempted Moustache’