Good Night Mooney, Good Night Coordinated Buttocks

The judges give Alex Mooney the kiss-off.Photo: Courtesy of NBC

Last night on the freak show America's Got Talent, we saw the advancement of a female beat-boxer named Butterscotch, a teary-eyed white reggae singer, and a magician who turned a dummy into a midget. Not everyone was so impressive: The singing mime, the backward talker, and the throat-singing banjo player all struck out. Most tragic of all: We bid farewell to Alex Mooney, the young man who broke pencils, rulers, and silverware in his butt cheeks. Hope arrived in the svelte form of a Latino transvestite named Luigi, who explained the hardships of impersonating Shakira. "It's a tough world," he lamented, "and a lot of people don't accept what I do." With his mother looking on, he wowed everyone with his energetic pelvis — except for David Hasselhoff, who later stormed off set declaring, "The world has gone mad!" Does Boy Shakira have what it takes? The Hoff, at least, seems threatened.—Mike Bilandic