Even if Cedric had slapped on tap shoes and hoofed it up à la Savion Glover, he couldn’t have danced himself out of the hole he’d dug over the last few weeks. That elimination was inevitable. On the women's side, the loyalties of the ballroom proved to be fierce: We’re assuming perma-judges Nigel and Mary — two ballroom vets — bullied Hairspray director-choreographer Adam Shankman (this week's guest judge) into overlooking Anya’s frightful leopard-print outfit and shafting super-twirler Shauna instead. When Cat reprimanded the losing lady, "This is no time for tears," we wondered, If not now, when?
Truthfully, all six solos felt like little more than interruptions in a big Hairspray promo: The opener had the cast replicating the movie’s routines in Technicolor costumes. Thereafter, the contestants took a field trip to a red-carpet screening, and the film’s stars took seats in the audience. We suspect featured singer Hilary Duff was dreaming of John Travolta, Queen Latifah, and the rest while singing her single “Stranger.” How else to explain her narcoleptic performance — unless those drag-queen-worthy false eyelashes were actually heavy enough to weigh down her eyes to half-mast? —Drew Pisarra