In this week's episode of Entourage, "The Day Fuckers," Ari sheds a tear! E engages in an awkward embrace! Turtle dons a bunny suit with a hole cut out for his wee-wee! No wonder this is the one show we can’t stop watching–slash–can’t stop hating ourselves for watching!
Pleasure: Having long lobbied for an Ari-centric spinoff (You’ve Got Gold), we found ourselves this week wishing that the underappreciated E would get his own show — or at least the Emmy nomination that went to Kevin Dillon. After needling E for his “nesting instinct” (i.e. his inability to have unemotional sex), Drama and Vince bet five grand on who can get laid first: E or Turtle. Which leads to a, yes, adorable scene poolside as E awkwardly attempts to make time with a visiting Brit, then spots his ex Sloane. His misintroduction of his new lady friend (“Sloane, this is Juliette.” “Heather.” “Wow. Really.”) is the best line-reading of the season — and almost enough to make us forget how easily Sloane’s character was Dumpsterized between seasons three and four.
Meanwhile, Ari cries! Twice! It’s true — he squirts a few genuine tears as he’s reduced to begging the private-school headmaster to admit his son, who wants to go to school with his best friend. Awwwww, Entourage has a heart!
Guilt: Entourage may have a heart, but it hasn’t forgotten about its other favorite body parts. Witness the obligatory anal joke of the week from Drama: “That’s not mean. Mean is when I made Jen Mancini ride her bike home after I ass-fucked her.” (Cue whooping high-fives in living rooms across the nation.)
Still, this episode was much pleasure, little pain: Ari’s antic dance after he swings the deal that gets his kid into school; E’s repetition of “Wow. Really” when he hears from Sloane that she’s met someone new; the weird Shining homage as Turtle watches disgusted from the bushes as Drama, in a bunny suit, makes sweet love to a woman dressed like a squirrel. All this, and an episode that’s 100 percent Billy Walsh free. Maybe this show deserves seven Emmy nominations after all. —Adam Sternbergh
The Guilt/Pleasure Index: