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‘Big Love’: Somebody Give Chloë Sevigny an Emmy!

Courtesy of HBO

"I know how to submit and that's why I'm happy."

So, Roman's in the hospital and Bill's polling the sister-wives about his gambling venture: Niki's thumb is up, Barb's is down, and Margene's enjoying her unexpected power as the tiebreaker. But as usual, we're all about the Chloë Sevigny, whether she's running over a fuel-efficient freezer with a look of grief-stricken rage, snakily negotiating with her viperish brother, or simply screaming "bingo!" with her eyes spinning like pinwheels. (Not to mention attempting to lobby Barb with evidence of men getting breast implants in order to lactate and well … what??) In any case, someone give this woman an Emmy. She's Carmela Soprano in the body of Patient Griselda.

Meanwhile, Margene has a piggy ex, Samara's doing the talk-show circuit, Joey's test-driving wife No. 2, Alby's manufacturing miracles, and "the men on Mt. Rushmore are patriarchs!" And Margene eventually okays the gambling venture for the children. And is (maybe) into spanking.

Best objection to teenage dating: "Her boyfriend is old enough to have a third wife!" —Emily Nussbaum