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One-trick pony and two-time Golden Raspberry Award winner M. Night Shyamalan (Worst Director and Worst Supporting Actor, both for last year’s much-maligned Lady in the Water) is currently shooting his next opus in Philadelphia, and blog Phillyist has details. Apparently The Happening is about an airborne virus that somehow causes people to commit suicide in gruesome ways. As stupid as that sounds, though, we’re pretty sure the movie — just like all of Night’s other ones — will have a trick ending that’s even stupider. After the jump, more plot info and our best guess on the film’s conclusion.
According to Phillyist, here’s what happens:
Something is making people in Philadelphia go crazy and kill themselves, and they can’t figure out what it is or why. In one scene, some people are driving through some farm land and they find out (on the radio, maybe?) that it’s an airborne virus. Being out in the sticks, they think they’re okay, until they drive by a farm and see a bunch of tree surgeons or farmers or something who’ve hanged themselves with garden hoses. They try to seal up all the air vents, windows, etc. in the car, but it’s too late. The car stops, idles for a minute, and then accelerates straight into a tree. The two people in the front seat go through the window and die immediately. John Leguizamo’s character was in the back seat and survives … but stumbles out of the car, picks up a shard of glass from the broken window, and slits his wrists.
Here’s how we think it’ll end: There is no airborne virus — people are killing themselves as soon as they realize they’re in an M. Night Shyamalan movie.
Do you have a better idea? Send your guesses to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll run our favorites tomorrow. Then check back in June 2008 when The Happening is in theaters to see if any of us come close.
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