Sweeney to Dine at a Theater Near You: DreamWorks and Paramount have decided to forgo a platform release for the Tim Burton–directed film of the Stephen Sondheim musical Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street and instead open the Johnny Depp–starring film wide on December 21. Because nothing says Christmas like a vengeance-obsessed singing cannibal. [Variety]

Chan Temporarily Sidelined From Kingdom: Jackie Chan has reported severe back pain on the set of The Forbidden Kingdom, his first collaboration with fellow martial-arts star Jet Li. Chan’s doctors are recommending that he stop carrying Chris Tucker’s career all by himself. [Backstage]

Stone Returns to Pinkville: Oliver Stone is in final negotiations to direct Bruce Willis and Step Up star Channing Tatum in Pinkville, a film centered on an investigation into the My Lai massacre in Vietnam. You gotta hand it to Oliver Stone: Between this film and Platoon, he’s the only filmmaker in history for whom “repeating himself” means “multiple depictions of Vietnamese village massacres.” [HR]

Baio Still 45, Still Single: In a much-less high-minded retread, Scott Baio returns to VH1 for a second season of Scott Baio is 45 … and Single. Year two is set to chronicle Baio’s struggle with impending fatherhood. Even just imagining this is so wearying that we need to call our life coach. [HR]

2007 Kicks 2004’s Ass: Total North American box office for the summer of 2007 is estimated at $4.11 billion, surpassing 2004’s record of $4.009 billion. In related news, Hollywood executives are adding “Part 3” and “A Judd Apatow Production” to the titles of all their forthcoming releases. [HR]