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‘The Closer’: We Will Not Be Sated by a Shower Scene

"You know what, honey? Let's try the shower scene again."Photo: TNT


Note to The Closer’s writers: Just because you finally dropped the early-menopause bomb and delivered a super-gory episode last week doesn’t mean you should hand things over to the interns and go out for cocktails.

First, any rookie could have figured out that the wack jobs who shot a million holes in the back door of Brenda’s squad car weren’t aiming for her. (Seriously, Briscoe and Curtis would have sleuthed that one out before the first dun-dun!) Second, what about Brenda’s early-onset menopause — is she all better now? Because aside from a quick mention at this episode’s beginning, there was nary a perspiration-soaked sweater or wobbly walk to be seen. Third, you just can’t read a perp his rights halfway then interrogate him in an elevator to get his confession. Isn’t that, like, Miranda Rights 101?

Okay. The show wasn’t all bad. Brenda’s blurted-out engagement announcement to her parents: funny! Brenda’s security detail’s puppy-dog eyes when she insists she doesn’t need a guard: even funnier! Meanwhile, Brenda’s real-life husband, Kevin Bacon, directed this episode, seeing fit to include a totally hot shower scene starring his wife, giving us a flash of the most Brenda skin we’ve seen all year. Still, this season is starting to veer all over the place. We think real life is plenty unpredictable as is. —Sara Cardace