‘Entertainment Weekly’ Develops Ingenious Method for Scientifically Measuring the Absurdity of ‘24’

Photo: Courtesy of EW

It's not available online as far as we can tell, but today's issue of Entertainment Weekly features a little charticle measuring the level of absurdity of a bunch of 24's greatest plot twists. Needless to say, we panicked when we saw it. "Has anyone seen New York's absurd-o-meter?" we called across our new offices. "Did it get lost in the move?" Desperately rummaging through orange moving crates and piles of galleys, tossing aside Sternbergh's unopened Calvin & Hobbes collection and Nussbaum's Scrubs DVDs, we finally found it beeping merrily away underneath seventeen Zac Efron posters at Catucci's desk. Whew!

But then we really got worried.

Has EW developed competing technology? Are we in the midst of a Cold War of absurd-o-meter escalation? Our absurd-o-meter only spits out a number from 1 to 10, while theirs creates a handy chart. Has their technology surpassed ours already?

Or worse yet … is there a double agent hiding inside New York? Desperate to plug the leak before more lives were lost, we called Jack Bauer in to personally interrogate the entire staff. In a shocking development, mid-waterboarding, Mathis-Lilley turned the tables on Jack Bauer, broke his arms, and sent him screaming out the window onto Varick Street. Absurdity factor: 10.

Earlier: The ‘24’ Absurd-o-Meter: So Long, Jack Bauer. Until We Meet Again.