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Larry David Reaffirms Status As Miserable Person

Photo: Getty Images

"I defy anyone to produce any evidence that the word 'happy' has ever crossed my lips. I am not now, nor have I ever been, 'happy.'" Larry David on his unwavering malaise [NYP]

"Matt [Groening] confirmed it. It's an honor, once you get over the shock of seeing yourself as a horrible, yellow caricature." —Comedian Rich Hall, who was the inspiration for Moe the Bartender on The Simpsons [Neatorama]

"So far I have not pooped onstage, but many times I have felt like pooping onstage." Debbie Harry [Rolling Stone]

"She came up with the idea in 40-Year-Old Virgin where my character is drinking and driving, she said, 'When the drunk lady is driving, she should fall asleep at the wheel … and then fart.' So we did the falling asleep at the wheel, and then she watched it and she said, 'Why didn't you have her fart?'" Leslie Mann on daughter Maude's contributions to The 40-Year-Old Virgin [Coming Soon]

"I just thought it was a funny title because it seemed so patently false to me. I definitely have my flaws. Thank God none of them are physical — physically I'm perfect." Michael Ian Black on the title of his new album, I Am a Wonderful Man [Red and Black]
—Elizabeth Black