Hacktastic Washington Post film critic Stephen Hunter — who won the Pulitzer Prize for criticism, don't you know — is back this month with The 47th Samurai, the latest entry in his lucrative side career as a thriller writer. (That Mark Wahlberg flop from earlier this year, Shooter, was based on Hunter's novel Point of Impact.) This time Hunter's hero, the awesomely named Bob Lee Swagger, heads off to exotic Japan, the land where — according to Hunter — people talk like this:
"Sakura-chan," he spoke gently to her, "I know this is difficult. But the transition is so important. You have ripened into womanhood. Your flesh has acquired gravity, density, solidity, and amplitude. You have a woman's body. Your eyes have wisdom, your beautiful face has knowledge, your hair a silky glisten. Our makeup people have transferred your already shocking beauty into something beyond shock; you are truly mythological. Do you hear, my dear?"
Whew! We're fanning ourselves in the office right now. If you're ever in a singles bar in Washington, and some dude with glasses and a beard sidles up to you, buys you a drink, and tells you that your flesh has acquired gravity, density, solidity, and amplitude, get his autograph before you toss your drink into his face; you just got hit on by Pulitzer Prize winner Stephen Hunter!