‘Ugly Betty’: Try ‘Predictable Betty’!

Ugly Betty
Episode Title
Betty's Wait Problem

We’re not calling it Ugly Betty anymore. New name: The World’s Most Predictable Show (and yes, we’re going to say the entire title every time we mention it). Daniel Meade can walk! He was faking being crippled to land a chick! Male magazine staffers are soooo sleazy! (Trust us, we know.) The show’s so predictable that we’re not even going to say “spoiler alert” before we tell you that a guy points a gun at Ignacio and … doesn’t shoot him and instead kills his own (abusive) father. But enough about the laughable plotlines — we’re here to point out the fashion crimes and offer correctives.

Plaid should only be worn sparingly.
People, people, people: How many times must we say this? Marc, your antics and witty quips are entertaining. But when you insist on wearing a checked shirt, orange plaid tie, and gray plaid jacket, we just want to stab you repeatedly.

Accessories are key for eveningwear.
Amanda decided that the Black and White Ball was the perfect place to out herself as Faye Summer’s daughter. She wore red, of course, but just when she was most suffering from a lack of attention, Marc stepped on her dress and she goes full monty. But the real scandale? The platinum wig and tacky gold shoes. Ladies, always wear good heels and never take hair cues from Britney.

A new guy can change your style.
Betty was flirting with a new beau this episode (he was hot in a young Lou Diamond Phillips sort of way) and the unthinkable happened: She wore the most demure outfit — for her — ever. No clashing colors, no bizarre patterns (unlike the blouse she wore in the beginning that looked like all her pores spontaneously spewed out blood). What are we talking about? A purple polka-dotted top with an eggplant-colored dress. Kind of cute in a short-bus sort of way.

This week, the writers were a bit lax on those little nuggets of joy that keep us going. The only one came from Christina, who had been putting together masks for the ball: “I've been peeing glitter for weeks.” Oh, sister, we know how that goes. —Amina Akhtar