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‘Weeds’: We Can’t Stop Picturing Conrad’s Ass

"Well, it's smooth and round, with a crack down the middle ..."Photo: Courtesy of Showtime


Nancy’s Season of Love, by which we mean Season of Sex — with FBI bad boy Peter Scottson and the lecherous but apparently sexually skilled Sullivan Groff — came to a climax last night as she hooked up with the beautiful, sweet, just-bad-enough-to-be-crazy-hot Conrad, her “gardener”-slash-business-partner. Remember when Jim finally laid one on Pam in The Office? And when the creators of Lost threw Sawyer and Kate in a cage together? It was kind of like that, only with Conrad’s naked ass front and center.

It all started with an introspective Nancy asking, “Do you think I'm a bad person?” after a long day spent … deep breath … evacuating the plants from the Aguatecture-front building to Celia's illegally occupied Majestic-owned home after word that a spontaneous fire inspection was nearing. Thought soon turned to action: “What about now?” she purred, grabbing him by his conspicuously sweaty T-shirt. As for the afterglow, there’s the rest of the season for that to fade — or, perhaps more likely, explode — though we do hope that the show’s second-best effing character makes a real love connection with the very best effing character. Either way, it was a heartening end to an episode that started with Nancy holding new potential snitch Celia at knifepoint, literally threatening to kill her. The yellow envelope full of cash that Nancy eventually used to buy Celia off, well, that was just classic Weeds. —Emma Pearse