Next week's release of the probable blockbuster The Golden Compass has religious groups freaking out about its atheistic themes, and a 300-style Jesus action movie is now in the works. What's next in the world of Christian-enraging cinema? The 13th Disciple, an Indian fantasy-adventure about Jesus's evil twin, that's what! The film, which will take place entirely in modern-day India, is mainly concerned with a pair of twin archaeologists who discover that the reincarnation of Christ's twin has become the charismatic leader of a malevolent sect. The plot basically sounds like a cross between Indiana Jones and Fight Club, which makes us wonder: What movie will Jesus Christ get shoehorned into next? How about a Cloverfield Christ, with an enormous Jesus wreaking havoc upon Manhattan? Or maybe an Animal House Jesus, with the Lord and His Apostles as a rowdy campus fraternity? We'd suggest a superhero Jesus, but we're pretty sure Superman Returns already went there. —Matthew Perpetua
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