Travesty: Sylvester Stallone Will Not Star in ‘Rocky’ the Musical

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Broadway Casting Disappointment! Close on the heels of last week’s shocking announcement that David Hasselhoff will not star in the new Knight Rider, Tony-winning librettist Thomas Meehan tells Playbill that he’s developing a musical of Rocky with songwriting team Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty in which Sylvester Stallone is not expected to star! Theater lovers now have all eternity to imagine what might have been. [Playbill]

LaBute, Hackford Eye The Woman Next Door: Taylor Hackford and New Line tap Neil LaBute to write The Woman Next Door, a remake of the 1981 Francois Truffaut film about former lovers who inadvertently move next door to each other after each is married. LaBute’ll probably take this as an opportunity to shock us to our very core or something. [Variety]

Nispel Ready for Friday: Texas Chainsaw Massacre remaker Marcus Nispel is in final negotiations to turn his classic-plundering magic to Platinum Dunes’ new Friday the 13th franchise. Concerned fan that they are, the Hollywood Reporter makes a point of noting that Jason will wear a hockey mask and kill people in this movie instead of leaving it all up to his Mom, as in the original. [HR]

Dillon Must Love Dogs: Entourage’s Kevin Dillon joins Don Cheadle, Lisa Kudrow, and Emma Roberts in Hotel for Dogs, about two orphaned teenagers who secretly house, well, dogs in a hotel. That’s quite a cast for a film we assume consists mostly of cute canine reaction shots. [HR]

Oasis Up for a Quickie: Oasis front man Liam Gallagher tells Billboard that the band started recording a new album last week and expects to be finished by mid-December. After all, the Beatles recorded their entire output in less than eight years. [Billboard]