So this morning we foolishly attempted to read the Daily News online and were hit instead with a huge banner ad for Bee Movie. We've been counting, and that banner ad was the 1,000,000th marketing message for the movie we've seen in the last few months. (Balloons fell from the ceiling, and we were given a free jar of honey.) We're not even going to insult you with the traditional sentence here detailing what the movie is for those who haven't heard of it; at this point, no one on Planet Earth hasn't heard of this movie, and Bee Movie has 42 percent unaided awareness in the space-alien demographic.
It's hard to say which of the movie's marketing techniques has been the most effective: The trailers? The TV spots? The billboards? The magazine ads? The newspaper ads? The magazine and Website interviews? The appearances on talk shows, including an hour on Oprah during which the host wore a bee headband the entire time? The front-page "Arts & Leisure" profile of Jerry Seinfeld? The event at Cannes where Seinfeld dressed as a bee? The Brach's candy corn "made with real honey"? The McDonald's Happy Meals? The bee-painted Volkswagen Beetles at the L.A. premiere? The music video with 100 kids dressed as bees? The short mini-mockumentaries on NBC? The Hewlett-Packard ads that manage to contain not one but two mentions of Bee Movie? His guest-starring role on 30 Rock, during which, at one point, he actually looked right at the camera and plugged the movie?
Gosh, they've all been so great! But we worry: What's left? After the jump, we suggest ten ways the marketing team might spend their final twenty thousand bucks.
• Project a laser image of Jerry Seinfeld's face on the moon, to increase awareness among vampires and other nocturnal creatures
• Hire hackers to break into every open network in Manhattan, feeding a harmless (but persistent!) Bee Movie virus into our city's computers
• Swarms of bees — stingers trailing tiny Bee Movie banners — let loose in America's elementary-school playgrounds
• Bee Movie undersea probe to bring the marketing message to the lost city of Atlantis
• Burglars break into every house in America with children ages 5 to 15 and leave a Bee Movie plush toy on each child's bed
• Four thousand tons of honey flowing freely through the streets of New York
• Fetuses stamped with Bee Movie logo in the womb with special sonogram-visible ink
• Licensed Bee Movie colonoscopy devices, to shove advertisements up America's butts
• Bee Movie bullets; as they enter your body at high speed, they scream "SEEBEE MOVIENOVEMBER2ONLYINTHEATERS"
• Ads for Bee Movie to run before showings of Bee Movie