So imagine you're fourth-string New York Times movie reviewer Matt Zoller Seitz. Your editors usually stick you with obscure foreign films, documentaries, and the occasional Tyler Perry flick. The biggest movie you've reviewed for the Times is The Game Plan, starring The Rock. So when the chance finally comes to review an honest-to-God blockbuster, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, we imagine it would be a big, dramatic moment in your career. In that light, it's not all that surprising that Zoller Seitz apparently cracked under the strain: "To acquire the cleverly named Book of Secrets, Ben plots to kidnap the current president and blah, blah, blah purple monkey dishwasher."