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‘American Idol’ Returns: Vulture Charts the Season Premiere

Courtesy of Microsoft Excel and Fox

American Idol returned last night to see if there's still a single decent singer left in the United States that hasn't already been signed and dropped by RCA Records. After watching the season premiere, we're sad to report that there is no one in Philadelphia nearly as talented as Blake Lewis, and that this year's Sanjaya has not yet materialized. Even so, we made pie charts!

Courtesy of Microsoft Excel and Fox

Courtesy of Microsoft Excel and Fox

Photos: WireImage, Getty Images, and FilmMagic

Related: Why Professional Singers Should Be Allowed on ‘American Idol’
Earlier: What Outlandishly Enormous Rating Will ‘American Idol’ Earn?