Michael Clarke Duncan to Beat the Crap Out of Some Comedians

Duncan to Further Break Lizard: Michael Clarke Duncan takes the title role in Broken Lizard’s new comedy The Slammin’ Salmon, about a brutal restaurant owner who runs a contest to see which of his waiters can make the most money in a single night, declaring that he will personally beat up whoever comes in last. Broken Lizard films have gotten progressively less funny since 2001’s Super Troopers, but imagining the Canadian All-American troupe getting whaled on by Michael Clark Duncan is comedy gold. [Variety]

Fox Carries Talbert’s Baggage: Fox Searchlight wins today’s Shrewd Speculator Award by green-lighting David Talbert’s Baggage Claim, about a frustrated single woman who embarks on a 30-day trip across America to find a husband, the same weekend Talbert’s First Sunday opened at $19 million. The Black Neil Simon will write, direct, and produce. [HR]

Usher Kinda Seems Like He May Release an Album Sometime: How’s this for “news”? R&B superproducer Jermaine Dupri tells Billboard that based on the last couple of times he hung out with Usher, he’s pretty sure the Yeah! Man’s follow-up to 2004’s Confessions will finally come out sometime this year. Dupri has produced some tracks for the long-in-development album, as has T-Pain. [Billboard]

Broadway Cry-Baby: Following a November run at the La Jolla Playhouse in California, the stage musical version of John Waters’s 1990 film Cry-Baby will open on Broadway at the Marquis Theatre on March 15. Keep it up, Broadway! You’re gonna hit Pink Flamingoes sooner or later! [Playbill]

Rushdie Unleashes Enchantress: Salman Rushdie’s Random House editor Will Murphy announces the release of Rushdie’s latest, the Renaissance-set The Enchantress of Florence, which Murphy says Rushdie researched for seven years and which constitutes “a bold departure.” It’ll be a bold departure for us if we actually get around to reading it. [PW]