Tilda Swinton: Boring

Photo: Getty Images

"I'm always the one pretending in a group of people who are properly drunk, because then when the police come I can turn the music down and drive everyone home." Tilda Swinton, too responsible to be a drunk despite playing one in the upcoming film Julia [BBC]

"One of our producers, Eddie Kitsis, has been pitching to us 'Frank Lapidus, Helicopter Pilot' for years." —Lost producer Damon Lindelof on the significance of character names on the show [EW]

"I love comedies so much and then any time I read a comedy the girl is in fashion. She's really into clothes and she just wants to get married. Those are not values I care to jump the bandwagon on." Natalie Portman, who would prefer the role of Frank Lapidus, Helicopter Pilot [Coming Soon]

"I used to do that horrifying thing called 'going out for pilot season.' It involved uprooting your life to relocate to L.A. and then go on humiliating auditions—one of which was Baywatch. They put us on a certain side of the room, depending if we were bathing-suit material or not. I made the first cut or so. I know I got to read, something like, 'Hey, look over there!' That was the last of it." Hope Davis, who could have been the poor man's Nicole Eggert [TONY]

"Rich famous people getting free shit looks bad. You look greedy. And I don't need a cell phone with sparkles on it." George Clooney, gift-bag shunner [Time]