It's hard to imagine what the cast of The L Word collectively did to make the show's creators want their characters to suffer so much. On last night's joyless episode, Adele's Campaign of Creepy comes to a strangely anticlimactic head as she presents the backers of Lez Girls with Jenny and Nikki's sex tape, getting Ms. Schecter fired and herself hired as the new director just when everyone starts taking Jenny's vision seriously (she blackmailed someone to get ahead in Hollywood? With sex? Isn't that … normal?). In other gloomy news, Bette tries to break up with Jodi in every way possible while Tina waits in the wings — telling her she loves her ex, refusing to hook up with her, insisting they have different core values — and after some intense Jodi-Bette scenes where the two passionately argue half-signing, half-shouting, Bette (and we) have to say farewell to one of the most interesting characters the show has ever depicted (figures!).
Nothing but one sad, unsuccessful attempt at reconciliation sex. Jodi gets Bette onto the couch during a depressing breakup moment, but Bette can't go through with it and literally tosses her aside.
Alice and Tasha go apartment hunting, but their search only exacerbates the sudden race and class issues in their relationship. Tasha wants to go hang with her Long Beach friends; she can't afford a nice apartment! Alice also goes to tape another episode of The Look, where she exchanges intense glances with the awkward Aussie lesbian fashion designer on the show that day. Scenes from next week indicate this will unfortunately become a major plot point.
Despite the fact that Jenny and Nikki were fucking like bunnies last episode, when Nikki refuses to walk off set with Jenny in solidarity, Jenny declares her hot young actress girlfriend "dead to me" (if this means their hot sex scenes are kaput, this show will be dead to 80 percent of its viewers). Schecter spends the rest of the episode smoking a homemade bong with suddenly-a-pothead Shane, and, unless we're nuts, it looks like they may hook up in the near future (in which case the show will reclaim 30 percent of its departed viewers). Max pops in and is told he was right — Adele is a psycho. Let's pause for a moment to commemorate the first time somebody has taken Max seriously this season …
Kit finally finds a reason to break out that gun she procured several episodes ago: Dawn Dembo and her lover, Cindi, managed to buy a 51 percent stake of the Planet (Ivan, the tranny Kit used to date, sold his shares to the incredibly annoying duo). In a blind rage, Kit puts the gun in her sweater pocket — which doesn't seem very safe — and heads over to SheBar to enact revenge. She gets spotted by Cindi and retreats to the Planet, where she later finds Bette and Tina's toddler daughter, Angelica, with the gun in her tiny hands, freaks out, and dumps the gun in the trash. L Word lesson time! Guns are as dangerous as pointless story lines. Time to toss this one in the Dumpster before somebody gets hurt. —Chelsea Brady