What Stories Will Snoop Dogg Tell on VH1's ‘Storytellers’?

Photo: Courtesy of VH1

Tonight's must-watch TV is not, believe it or not, the season finale of The New Adventures of Old Christine. Nope — it's Snoop Dogg, taking his turn at the mike on VH1's Inside the Actor's Studio knockoff, Storytellers. Needless to say, we can't believe that no one at VH1 thought of this idea before now, and we are really, really excited to see Snoop go all James Lipton on his old tracks. According to MTV.com, in addition to a long, awesome cover of the Time's "Cool" that may or may not see the light of day owing to rights issues, the episode features Snoop telling stories about the origins of his songs. We can't imagine what he's gonna say.

"Well, that was a great track. See what happened was, I was rolling down the street, right? Smokin' some endo, and sipping on … well, maybe I should go back to the beginning.

"There had been a lot of drama in the LBC, and frankly, it was getting hard to be me. So I decided to have a party. And by two in the morning, that party was still jumping, because my momma wasn't home yet. There were these two women, right? In the living room? Getting it on? In fact, I don't even think that they were gonna leave until, like, six o'clock in the morning.

"Anyways, I had a bunch of condoms in my pocket, as did a number of my homeboys. So we turned off the lights and closed the doors. Not that I'm saying we were in love with these women, but we were certainly willing to, you know, spend some time with them.

"As it happened, I'd bought some Seagram's gin, and everybody had cups, but had not yet chipped in. Which is ridiculous. This type of thing happens all the time! Luckily, my storytelling is so captivating that it doesn't matter, as the audience for VH1's Storytellers can attest.

"There was the woman I was interested in by the name of Sadie. She had been the lady of a friend of mine. I told her to raise up off my nuts. Can I say that? Well, my N-U-Ts.

"Well, to make a long story short — too late! [Laughs] — Dr. Dre came through with a whole bunch of Tanqueray, as well as a lot of really, really potent chronic. I had to, like, back up off of it, you know? Set my cup down? And all of a sudden I realized, I was drizzunk. Dre had brought over some women he knew from Compton, and we had sexual intercourse, though again, I must stress I was not in love.

"Anyways, it turns out that I had my mind on my money. True story."

Snoop Dogg Rolls Out The Hits, Goes Country For Upcoming 'VH1 Storytellers' [MTV]