Either ‘American Idol’ Is Fixed or Paula Abdul Is Divinely Omniscient

Last night on American Idol, oft-incomprehensible judge Paula Abdul revealed her impressive, never-before-seen precognitive abilities, adjudicating a performance that had not yet taken place. The Idol finalists each did two songs, and, after all five had sung once, Ryan Seacrest asked the judges to weigh in. Reading from notes, Abdul reviewed not only Jason Castro's first performance, but his second, not-yet-seen one as well: "The second song, I felt like your usual charm was missing for me. And the two songs made me feel like you're not fighting hard enough to get into the top four." When Seacrest pointed out her mistake, she claimed that she'd been looking at her notes for David Cook — but then told Cook, "You're fantastic."

Was Paula having a Lost-style flash-forward? Can she really see into the future? Does she know who wins? (Not Jason, we guess!) Or does this confirm, at last, that American Idol is fixed? Were the producers conspiring against Jason Castro? Are Paula's comments always scripted? If so, shouldn't she be way more intelligible? It's sort of hilarious that now Fox will either have to confess to unscrupulous behavior or admit, finally, that Paula Abdul is just plain nuts.