Jeremy Piven to Hug It Out Onstage

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Piven Plows: David Mamet has found one of the leads for his Speed-the-Plow Broadway revival: Expert yeller and cusser Jeremy Piven will play Bobby Gould. Though Gould is a producer rather than an agent like Entourage's Ari Gold, it's still not much of a stretch; all Piven has to do is dial down the charm and dial up the repulsiveness 10 percent. [NYT]

Lee Goes to Woodstock: Ang Lee will direct Focus Features's Taking Woodstock, a comedy based on Elliot Tiber's memoir of the seminal music festival. The only eyebrow-raising piece to this puzzle is the script, penned by Focus president James Schamus. In his defense, he adapted The Ice Storm, but it's hard to see a way around this exchange: "Um, James, I have some notes on your script." "Sorry, Lee, but as the president of Focus, I say my script is perfect. Now get me a doughnut." (Lee hangs head in shame.) [Variety]

Russell Nails Caan: James Caan has pulled out of Nailed after a spat with spat-loving director David O. Russell. Caan left the set after a heated argument with Russell over whether it's possible to choke and cough at the same time. No YouTube video yet, but if you've been playing the David O. Russell Set-Dispute Drinking Game™, chug a bonus bottle of beer because it happened on Caan's first day of shooting. [HR]

Holofcener Makes Friends: Amanda Peet, Oliver Platt, and Rebecca Hall have joined Catherine Keener in an untitled dramatic comedy from Friends With Money's Nicole Holofcener. Story focuses on a couple (Platt and Keener) living next to an old lady and waiting for her to die so they can claim the apartment from her grandchildren. Expect prickliness and discomfort to ensue. [HR]

Verhoeven Finds Jesus: This September, director Paul Verhoeven will publish a biography of Jesus. For serious. The director of Robocop, Total Recall, and Basic Instinct has spent twenty years researching the life and times of Jesus Christ and promises that his book will portray the biblical figure in the most realistic way possible. We look forward to the scene in which Jesus seductively uncrosses and crosses his legs. [HR]

Apatow to Produce Comedy: Judd Apatow blah blah blah Nick Stoller blah blah blah Get Him to the Greek blah blah Jonah Hill blah blah funny funny funny. [Variety]