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apropos of nothing

‘G.I. Joe’ Photos Confirm Sienna Miller’s Promise: ‘Guns, Tits, Ass, No Acting’

Scarlett and Duke from G.I. Joe

From left, Rachel Nichols as Scarlett; Channing Tatum as Duke.Courtesy of Paramount


Paramount's publicity department has been busy the past two days populating the Internet with photos from its upcoming G.I. Joe film. We now have glimpses of Duke, Heavy Duty, Destro, Storm Shadow, Breaker, the Baroness, Ripcord, and Dennis Quaid as General Hawk to go along with previously released images of Scarlett and Snake Eyes. While this G.I. Joe team certainly look like they can kick a whole lot of COBRA butt, we can't help but feel disappointed that the filmmakers have stripped our favorite special operatives of their distinctive Joe outfits in favor of black rubber X-Men uniform retreads. Salty sailor Shipwreck is also conspicuously absent, prompting us to wonder if filmmakers are still trying to get the Rock for the role, or if they've simply scrapped the character altogether because his parrot would look too gauche perched on that new uniform.

Still, the awesome news is that these photos do seem to confirm Sienna's Miller's artful and enthusiastic description of the film as being about "guns, tits, ass, no acting!" Guns, tits, and ass are all emphatically on display in these publicity photos — and it's a good bet they'll be doing most of the film's acting, too. Yo Joe! —Tammy Oler