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The Six Best Jokes From Wednesday Night’s Chris Rock Show at MSG

Photo: Getty Images


At the WaMu Theater at Madison Square Garden Wednesday night, Chris Rock brought his A-game, even if we'd already read most of his good lines in recent profiles. Here are the best of the rest:

1. Calling for a hit on Flavor Flav: "He needs to be killed. Flavor Flav must be killed. I'm serious" — because he worries that Republican operatives will try to use Flav to bring down Obama. "Would you vote for somebody who has anything in common with Flav?"

2. On his neighbors: "[My only three black neighbors are] Mary J. Blige, one of the greatest singers of all time, Denzel Washington, one of the greatest actors of all time, and Jay-Z, one of the greatest rappers of all time." His white neighbor? "A dentist. And he isn't like the greatest dentist in history either. I had to host the Oscars to get that house — a black dentist in my neighborhood would have to invent teeth."

3. On John McCain: "We don't need a president with a bucket list. Who's going to be his VP? A nurse?"

4. On Clinton's experience: "My wife, we've been married 10 years, but if she got on stage now, y'all wouldn't laugh at all."

5. On Obama: "We've never seen a black man so cool — that wasn't in the music business..." ...and Reverend Wright: "Have you ever met a 75-year-old black man in this country that wasn't angry? I mean, they have a few reasons."

6. On voting: "They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come." —Logan Hill