As longtime lovers and fearers of the Jonas Brothers' awesome world-destroying power, we were pretty excited about their appearance on American Idol's finale last night. So we feel a little weird asking this, but did anyone else find their performance kind of … blah? We mean, we're glad to see kids actually playing instruments onstage, but the song was dull, their voices were a little reedy, and they gave an enthusiastic but not inspiring performance. We assume their squads of trained ninja assassins will hunt us down before this post is even published, so these words may go unread, but we wonder what the problem was. Were they nervous? Annoyed to be sharing the spotlight with David Archuleta, another blazing star in the firmament? Had someone told them the night's results, ruining their hopes and dreams?
Or do they — like other world-conquerors with busy schedules — have body doubles who take care of their less important public appearances? Perhaps while these ersatz Jonases were onstage for American Idol, the real Jonases were in a meeting with the Pope, or mastering trans-dimensional multi-space.
Also, since when is John Hodgman of "I'm a PC" fame their guitarist? And why is he smirking?