‘The X-Files’ Trailer: Does Anyone Remember What the Hell Was Going On?

Tagline: "I want to believe…"

Translation: …that the movie will be better than this crappy trailer.

The Verdict: Producers of the new X-Files film have taken great pains to reassure us that the plot will be stand-alone: no Lone Gunmen, Smoking Man, or other vestiges of the TV show's maddening mythology. This is great news, because nobody remembers what the hell was going on when the show went off the air in 2002, and anybody who actually does is too busy dissecting Lost to explain it to the rest of us. Yet this trailer is, at best, underwhelming: A girl gets abducted, Billy Connolly mumbles some clairvoyant shit, and there's lots and lots of running. Until we hear the trademark refrain of the X-Files theme song and see our favorite FBI odd couple, the whole thing smacks of a substandard supernatural thriller. Still, we're holding out hope that Mulder and Scully can find enough compelling action (and maybe even get some action!) to make it worth the risk of defiling our memories of the show. We want to believe … but we don't, really. —Tammy Oler