apropos of nothing

Who Is R. Kelly’s Surprise Witness?

Is it R. Kelly’s pastor to assure everyone that Kelly is a chaste and decent man who doesn’t know how to operate a camcorder? Or George Lucas, founder of motion-picture visual-effects company Industrial Light & Magic, who’ll explain how someone could’ve affixed Kelly’s computer-generated head to the body in the infamous sex tape? Or one of the Wayans brothers, who’ll confess to pulling the stunt himself? We hope it’s serial threesome-debunker Woody Allen — a Bananas-style self-cross-examination is probably the only way this trial could get any wackier.

Is it R. Kelly’s pastor to assure everyone that Kelly is a chaste and decent man who doesn’t know how to operate a camcorder? Or George Lucas, founder of motion-picture visual-effects company Industrial Light & Magic, who’ll explain how someone could’ve affixed Kelly’s computer-generated head to the body in the infamous sex tape? Or one of the Wayans brothers, who’ll confess to pulling the stunt himself? We hope it’s serial threesome-debunker Woody Allen — a Bananas-style self-cross-examination is probably the only way this trial could get any wackier.

Surprise Defense Witness Delays Threesome Testimony [Kelly Chronicles/Chicago Sun-Times]
Kelly trial adjourns after call from potential witness [AP]

Earlier: Things Suddenly Not Looking So Great for R. Kelly
R. Kelly Chooses This Opportune Moment to Promote New Album

Who Is R. Kelly’s Surprise Witness?