We've been delighted by the escalating battle between Woody Allen and his Vicky Christina Barcelona publicists. First the publicists were overjoyed that someone leaked details of Woody's new movie's hot threesome between Javier Bardem, Scarlett Johansson, and Penélope Cruz to the New York Post. Woody, ever the killjoy, immediately denied the claims, saying, "People who come and expect those exaggerations are going to be disappointed." The obviously irritated publicists tried again, approving a trailer that featured pretty much nothing but hot sex scenes.
But now Woody Allen — apparently desperately afraid that audiences might want to see Vicky Christina Barcelona — has struck back in Cannes interviews, pooh-poohing not just cinematic threesomes, but actual ones:
"In trying to figure out solutions in life, two actually tends to make it more complicated than one. The characters in this movie are able, the chemistry was right, and they're able to handle the situation," Allen said. "But in real life, most of us petty people could never handle anything like that. It's hard enough to get a relationship that can work out with one person, but with two, it becomes geometrically more fatal."
Right now we love to imagine the scene in the Weinstein Company publicity offices, as chipper young women in attractive suits whack their heads against their own desks. And we have to say we agree with them — this is beyond the pale. C'mon, Woody! Don't take away our threesomes! And please don't make us imagine you in a threesome!