Colombian Hostages: The Movie, Coming Soon?

Ingrid Betancourt Photo: Getty Images

Hostages Hold Hollywood Hostage: It's only been a week since the bait-and-switch rescue of the 15 FARC Colombian hostages, and already Hollywood is circling for the rights. Will it come from Phil Maloof's negotiations with the Colombian government for their side of the story? Or from the three American contractors who are negotiating with UTA? Or perhaps from Ingrid Betancourt herself, who is seeking her own feature deal through a French literary agent? These questions ignore the obvious problem with this true-life story: The daring third-act rescue goes off without a shot fired. Boring! [Variety]

Meanwhile: The Hollywood Reporter is claiming a deal's already been made, for Colombian director Simon Brand to direct the movie for Vertigo Entertainment and Colombian TV network RCN. Who'd they actually make the deal with? The article doesn't say. [HR]

…and the Tucker Max Players: Jesse Bradford, Matt Czurchy, and Geoff Stults have joined the cast of Tucker Max's douchetastic voyage into cinema, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. Czuchry will abandon his Gilmore Girls past and play Tucker Max himself, while Bradford and Stults will play Max's friends. [HR]

Broadway Turns Kinky: Kinky Boots, the 2006 British comedy about a drag queen who saves a struggling midwestern shoe business by designing a line of fetish shoes, has been picked up for the stage by producers Daryl Roth and Hal Luftig. Legally Blonde's Jerry Mitchell is in talks to direct. This actually sounds good: There's enough heart to appeal to critics and enough sex to actually make money. [HR]

Sumika Counts: Aya Sumika, who's basically been a regular on CBS' Numbers as Special Agent Liz Warner, has joins the series on a permanent basis. Aya, if you're reading this, you should know the only reason we're covering you is because it's a slow week after Fourth of July weekend. Sorry, kiddo. [HR]

4,000 Dragons: Super 78 animation studio is gearing up to make its animated Flight of the Dragon in 4K — the insanely high resolution usually reserved for Imax. Described as a hybrid documentary and fantasy story about a boy who discovers China from the sky by flying with a mystical dragon, this movie promises to be the most beautiful thing you've ever been bored by. [HR]