In ‘Xanadu’ Did Whoopi Goldberg a Stately Pleasure-Dome Decree

Photo: Photo-illustration: Getty Images, istockphoto

Skate or Die: Whoopi Goldberg is taking a break from The View to appear in the Tony-nominated Xanadu as one of the scheming muses, stepping in for Jackie Hoffman as Caliope, for those of you listening to the soundtrack as you read this. It's a little too easy to make fun of Whoopi these days, but we're not above letting Dave Angelo's Whoopi Goldberg Impression Contest do the dirty work for us. [AP]

LCT Schedule Includes Haidle, Weidman: Noah Haidle's Saturn Returns, the story of one man's life as played by three actors, will premiere at Lincoln Center Theater next year, followed by John Weidman's Happiness, a musical about a group of New Yorkers stuck on the subway. No cast has been announced for the Susan Stroman–directed Happiness, and a pitched casting battle is expected between actors auditioning for the role of Kid Selling M&M's, Not for Any Organization or Anything, Just to Stay Off the Streets and Earn an Honest Dollar. [NYT]

Being Mandate: John Malkovich has signed a two-year first-look deal with Mandate Pictures with the aim of producing no less than one film a year under his Mr. Mudd banner, a collaboration that helped bring Juno to life. First up on their new slate is Broken City, a cop-turned-P.I. story where sadly no one crawls into John Malkovich's head. [Variety]

Metcalf Can't Stop Crying: Visual-effects supervisor Brian Metcalf will make the leap to director with Fading of the Cries, based on a fantasy script he wrote all by himself. Story follows a guy, played by forgotten American Pie star Thomas Ian Nicholas, who must use a magical sword to rescue both his town and Nicholas's career. [HR]

Three Take Summer Vacation: Thirteen's Nikki Reed, DJ Qualls, and William Sadler will headline The Last Days of Summer, Vlad Yudin's story of a pissed-off burger flipper who is about to get revenge on his cruel boss when a beautiful customer makes him change his mind. Yudin most recently directed a documentary on big-boned rapper Big Pun, so he probably knows a thing or two about anger/fast food. [Variety]

WB Finds Lost Planet: Warner Bros. and Capcom are teaming up to make a feature out of Lost Planet, a video game about searching for an energy source on an ice planet that isn't Hoth. Watchmen's David Hayter will write the script. Fun Fact 1: Hayter is also the voice of Solid Snake in the Metal Gear games. Fun Fact 2: If you're excited by this, you need a girlfriend. [Variety]