Injured on the Job? Been in an Accident? Call Sacha Baron Cohen Today!

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Numeros Accidentes: Fox Atomic has picked up Accidentes, a pitch from Sacha Baron Cohen and his fellow Borat scribe Peter Baynham, about a Hispanic lawyer who transforms from ambulance chaser to working-class hero when he wins an immigrant's case against his wealthy employer. It's not definite, but Baron Cohen is considering starring as the lawyer if only because he has yet to add "Latino" to his robust caricature list. [Variety]

Which Blade?: Battlestar Galactica vet Michael Rymer will direct the feature adaptation of Top Cow's Witchblade. Mikey! What are you doing distracting yourself with second-rate Yancy Butler tomfoolery? You're supposed to be concentrating as hard as you can on making the perfect Battlestar series finale! GET BACK TO WORK! [Variety]

Mandate Calls Way Back: Mandate has picked up The Way Back, the much-loved Myrtle Beach water-park coming-of-age drama that was previously set up at Fox Searchlight with Night at the Museum's Shawn Levy attached to direct. Levy will stay on as producer, but the search is on for a new director as Levy's much too busy filming Ben Stiller getting chased by the Kitty Hawk in the Museum sequel. And that, children, is why it's hard to make good movies. [HR]

Vartan and Cross Get Demoted: Michael Vartan and David Cross will play entrenched rivals who work at the same tire store in Dan Callahan's Demoted, to be directed by American Pie 2's J. B. Rogers. Surely this schedule must conflict with the imaginary Arrested Development movie we pray for every night to a marzipan statue of Ron Howard? [HR]

The Divine Comburrdy: Further blurring the line between actual cable news and the people making fun of it, Comedy Central has signed a pilot deal with comedian Bill Burr for his show called Purgatory, a weekly rant on topical issues "a la Keith Olberman or Bill O'Reilly." When asked if he'd also be prerecording outros à la Bill O'Reilly, Burr said, "We'll do it live! Fuck it!" [Variety]