It seems Katie Holmes is much better at selling magazines than she is at selling Broadway tickets. In today's Post Michael Riedel reports that her upcoming Broadway debut, in Arthur Miller's All My Sons, just isn't the draw that producers had hoped for. Despite brokers' expectations, the girl is no Julia Roberts, "who pretty much sold out Three Days of Rain in One Day of Rain." (To this we can only say: Duh. Who expected Joey Potter to bring in the fans of Shelby Eatenton Latcherie?) Riedel explains that Holmes, unlike the last Mrs. Tom Cruise (and unlike Daniel Radcliffe in Equus a few blocks away), doesn't get naked onstage. Also, the economy isn't great these days: "People aren't shelling out $110 for a play anymore," one broker says. "It doesn't matter who's in it." (This explanation we don't buy, mainly because of two words in last week's column: Taylor Hicks.)
But what Riedel fails to mention — an omission we think speaks volumes — is that Holmes is not putting on a one-woman show. And the producers' botching of this message suggests to us that the show might be selling more tickets if Katie Holmes weren't in it.
Oh, you didn't know that Tony winner John Lithgow, Tony nominee (and Little Children hottie) Patrick Wilson, and Oscar winner Dianne Wiest are in this play, too? Why would you? All anyone can talk about is Katie Holmes, Katie Holmes, Katie Holmes. "Backstage at All My Sons, the buzz is that the cast has been forced to sign confidentiality agreements," reports Riedel. "The Scientology minders in charge of Holmes apparently don't want any press they can't control." Hint, hint, producers: This may be the perfect excuse to shift the focus to everyone else. An All My Sons with Lithgow, Wilson, and Wiest would sell just fine, we expect; we think all Katie Homes is doing is overshadowing her talented (and stage-tested) co-stars.
Also, talk about burying the lede, Michael Riedel! "By the way, Cruise has been putting out feelers to theater producers about doing a play at some point. He's in career recovery, which usually means a visit to Broadway at some point." Interesting! But which show? We're going with The Producers. After all, Josh Harnett already stole his part in Rain Man — and maybe Cruise can loan the production some Nazi uniforms. —Lori Fradkin
YOU CRUISE, YOU LOSE [NYP]