Quote Machine: Teri Garr Edition

Greatest interview ever. Photo: Getty Images

"If there's ever a woman who's smart, funny, or witty, people are afraid of that, so they don't write that. They only write parts for women where they let everything be steamrolled over them, where they let people wipe their feet all over them." Teri Garr [A.V. Club]

"I think what Dustin says is, I realize now how important it is for a woman to be pretty. And I wasn't pretty. God! That's all you realized? Jesus Christ. Oh well. Don't quote me. Actually, quote me." Teri Garr on the message of Tootsie [A.V. Club]

"I thought that [Sandy] was caught between trying to have a career and trying to be a sexual woman, and it just doesn't work. At least it didn't in that movie, because it was made by sexist men. I can say that now, because Sydney [Pollack] isn't with us anymore. [Laughs.] But he was a fine director." Teri Garr on her role in Tootsie [A.V. Club]

"He just wanted the beautiful, blond, cute, shiksa girls to be nice and shut the fuck up! [Laughs.] God, I'm bad. But that's what he wanted." Teri Garr on Sydney Pollack [A.V. Club]

"She's actually a nice girl. She's got her own problems, being married to that playwright." Teri Garr on Jessica Lange [A.V. Club]

"No. It's a bomb!" Teri Garr on whether One From the Heart should be rediscovered [A.V. Club]

"Francis wanted it to be a woman's point of view. This was an Italian guy — a humorless Italian guy. Oh, I shouldn't say that. He's got humor. Anyway, he wanted a woman's point of view, but I don't think he had a clue. But he's a smart guy." Teri Garr on Francis Ford Coppola [A.V. Club]

"I think it was actually very derivative of this artist at the time who was making underground films, Bruce Conner. He would make these films with cartoons, atom bombs, and stuff that were really quite interesting and metaphorical, about orgasms and stuff. So they copied that. I wouldn't say 'copied.' That's a bad word. Plagiarized? No, that's a worse word." Teri Garr on Jack Nicholson and Bob Rafelson's Head [A.V. Club]

"I remember when we did our first read-through, Sonny [Bono] looks at the script and he goes, 'Okay, I'll see you guys later. Chai-ay-oh!' And I said, 'It's ciao! Aren't you Italian? C-i-a-o doesn't spell chai-ay-oh.' [Laughs.] Sonny's dead, so he won't be embarrassed if I tell that story." Teri Garr [A.V. Club]

"I did a string of about six or seven Elvis movies, all in a row. He made all of those movies in two years' time. All of them bad. Don't quote me." [Interviewer: "Really?"] "No, quote me. It's not a secret that they were bad." Teri Garr [A.V. Club]

Previously in special-edition Quote Machines: Quote Machine: Will.I.Am Edition