Val Kilmer’s Non-Funny Hair Makes Him All Wrong to Play David Lee Roth

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"Nothing against the greatness of the mighty Roth but … plus I'm way too old. They need a gymnast to play that. You need a guy with funny hair." Val Kilmer on the never-ending rumors about him playing David Lee Roth [MTV]

"I get recognized as much for being in Kids in the Hall as for anything I've actually been in. And so now it's gotten to the point where I just say 'Thank you,' and keep walking. Because if I say that I wasn't in Kids in the Hall, they'll just tell me to shut up." Michael Ian Black on not being in Kids in the Hall [A.V. Club]

"In case you can't see me, I have long, golden hair." Billy Joel, addressing his audience at Shea Stadium [NYDN]

"I wouldn't be surprised if he thought about transferring his skills into auto education." Dick Messer, director of L.A.'s Petersen Automotive Museum, on what Jay Leno should do after his contract runs out with NBC [USA Today]

"There's nothing actually offensive in it, except maybe the music, which is stereotypically Asian. But I know some people will be upset." Randy Newman on his new song, "Korean Parents" [Soundboard/LAT]