Apart from the unfunny jokes, awful skits, stupid musical numbers, and a minor uproar over his possibly racist remark, Justin Timberlake's recent stint as the host of the ESPY Awards was a smashing success. Quite naturally, then, he's being considered as a possible emcee for next year's Academy Awards (at least according to a dubious, anonymously sourced report in the National Enquirer, which isn't even online yet, so you'll have to read about it at Contact Music). Allegedly upset about the ratings for this year's ceremony — the worst in the Oscars' 80-year history — the show's producers supposedly think Timberlake could deliver an advertiser-friendly younger audience. But, while we love Justin Timberlake — FutureSex/LoveSounds still gets plenty of attention on our iTunes, and we even went back to his restaurant a second time after our first trip gave us diarrhea — we really hope this rumor's not true.
Justin Timberlake is not funny. Awesome? Yes. But totally not funny. Sure, he tries hard and, yeah, he'd probably have access to a better writing staff for the Oscars than he did for the ESPYs … but, well … watch this:
Could you really handle four more hours of that? He's a great singer, an excellent dancer, and an okay songwriter — but the guy's a tenth-rate comedian. Apart from "Dick in a Box," which was mostly Andy Samberg, has he ever actually made you laugh? We're not saying Jon Stewart, Ellen DeGeneres, and Chris Rock were perfect hosts, but at least when they botched a joke it didn't make us temporarily less enthusiastic about "My Love" or "Cry Me a River." And while we'll admit he was the funniest thing about The Love Guru, it was by a dangerously small margin. If the Academy wants a bigger, hipper viewership next year, couldn't they just get Will Ferrell? Or have a bunch of Judd Apatow regulars host it together? Or if they really wanted better ratings, they could just nominate movies people actually like.
JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE - TIMBERLAKE TO HOST THE OSCARS? [Contact Music]