Today's Wall Street Journal offers an option-ready profile of Robert Wittman, a Pennsylvania-based FBI agent who goes undercover to find art thieves and ferret them out. Thanks to his efforts, over $225 million in missing art has been recovered, including an original copy of the Bill of Rights and the Rembrandt self-portrait on the left. Apparently art thieves are no longer engaging in fun Thomas Crown Affair bullshit but instead just steal paintings at gunpoint now. So there's everything you need for a movie: guns, danger, sexy naked paintings, and institutional dismissal — the FBI apparently ignored Wittman's requests for more agents for years. But which Hollywood star will play Wittman? Based on his identity-protecting photo in the Journal, all we need is an actor with a back.