With “50 Cent for President,” a new track posted on his Website, 50 Cent has belatedly thrown his hat into the race. And we consider his chances: “I’m not just another politician politicking, this is your boy,” he lets us know. Okay, so he’s positioning himself as a Washington outsider, a hot meme this electoral season which will definitely ring true — as far as we know 50’s never attended a congressional hearing. He smartly gets his past indiscretions out of the way early, David Paterson–style — “I smoked a couple of pounds but never inhaled / been in custody but never in jail” — and then flexes a bit of his impressive oratory muscles: “My main aim is to take away pain.” A clear, direct message that the people can get behind!
It’s all a buildup before he addresses the hot-button issue of the day — worry not, 50’s got “a plan for the crisis.” But it’s a little unorthodox: “lower cocaine prices.” Apparently, “when everybody high who gives a fuck about recession.” It’s a salient point, but may not sit well with moral watchdog groups. Still, a Jackson/Clinton ticket may make some noise late in the game.