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David Archuleta Massacres David Cook on Albums Chart

"Oh, that? It's just my Hopemonger Hypno-Lamp."

The numbers are in! Last Wednesday, rightful American Idol winner David Archuleta posted first-week sales of 183,000 for his masterful debut record David Archuleta, landing the coveted No. 2 position on the Billboard 200. This morning it was announced that David Cook, Archuleta's balder, pitchier nemesis, managed to unload 280,000 copies of his new CD last week, which was only good enough for an abysmal No. 3 placement on today's chart — embarrassing! Better luck next time, Cook!

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Photo: Getty Images