Jeremy Piven, Hypochondriac

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Susan Mikula's sic transit 05 (2008). Photo: Getty Images

TMZ is reporting that before he placed the blame on high mercury levels in his blood for causing him to depart Speed-the-Plow, Jeremy Piven first tried to convince producers he had caught mono. When that failed, he reported himself as suffering from the Epstein-Barr virus (a member of the Herpesviridae family). Sounds to us like Piven should refrain from kissing girls who hang out at sushi bars. [TMZ]