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Philip Seymour Hoffman to Awkwardly Make Out With Amy Ryan

Not Pierce Brosnan and Susan Sarandon.

Hoffman Goes Boating: Philip Seymour Hoffman is stepping behind the camera to make his directorial debut with Jack Goes Boating, an adaptation of Bob Glaudini's Off Broadway play. PSH will also star alongside Amy Ryan in the quirky romantic comedy about a stoner limo driver in New York who gets set up on a date and panics. Cooking classes and swimming lessons are involved, meaning we might get to see Hoffman in a bathing suit. That's worth the price of admission right there. Even considering that the price of admission will be $25 when this movie comes out. [Variety]

They're Back: Good news out of NBC: The Office and 30 Rock will be back next season, and Amy Poehler's show has a premiere date! The still-untitled show is launching on Thursday April 9 at 8:30, in the slot currently occupied by Kath & Kim! Set your DVR yesterday! That is, if you can still afford to have a DVR. [HR]

Dude: The Bounty Hunter: Twentieth Century Fox is turning anime series Cowboy Bebop into a live-action feature with Keanu Reeves attached to star as an ass-kicking bounty hunter traveling through space. Why, you may ask, would a bounty hunter need to travel through space? Simple, a lunar explosion, resulting from an accident with a time-travel portal, or astral gate, spread humans all across the solar system. And where humans go, crime follows, thus the need for bounty hunters. Keanu is set to play Spike Spiegel, a former criminal turned bounty hunter, who co-pilots the spaceship Bebop. It's hard to argue with any movie that has the words "Keanu," "ass-kicking," and "space" in its description. Unless you can't afford to go to the movies anymore, in which case it's actually not hard at all. [HR]

Throwing Stone at Zombies: Emma Stone is in final negotiations to star alongside Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg in horror-comedy Zombieland. The Ruben Fleischer directed flick centers on a group of survivors who team up in the postapocalyptic Southwest to fight a plague of zombies, less because they're eating brains and killing people, but more because the zombies took their jobs. [Variety]

CBS Hates Kids: CBS has given the green light to Bill Knustler's comedy pilot Tick Tock. The half-hour will revolve around a thirtysomething single mom who hears her biological clock is ticking and decides she needs a man, like, now. Yet more proof that children are evil and they ruin your life. Seriously, do you have any idea how expensive kids are? [Variety]

Photo: WireImage