Vulture

Skip to content, or skip to search.

quote machine

Amy Poehler Passes the Baton Along to Kristen Wiig

"I would like to send Kristen Wiig a shiny new captain's hat because she's taking over the captain's position. It would be really stiff and high and when you tipped it over, birds would fly out of it, like squawking pigeons, and then you could bite into it, and it would be marzipan." Amy Poehler bequeaths her unofficial title of SNL captain to Kristen Wiig [NYT]

"My reaction was, 'Are you kidding me? That's your marketing plan? Me sitting around and acting like a rock star?'" Andrew Bird on a label's advice to stop riding his bike around town [NYT]

"For me, French is so rich and so sacred that learning it is like learning a foreign language. It's a victory. After learning French it would be bizarre to learn another language." Fabrice Luchini on singing in English without learning the language [NYT]

"To be obsessed with Jewish image is a classic Jewish thing. It used to be when you had tough-looking Jewish actors they played Italians, like James Caan and Henry Winkler. Now you have tough-looking goyim [like Eric Bana] playing Jews, and that's progress." Rich Cohen, author of Tough Jews [LAT]

"I've had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware." Joan Rivers should donate this joke to someone who hasn't heard her use it before [NYT]

"Imitating her is like a love letter to her. I saw her at a restaurant and thought, 'Wow, she's sexy for a political analyst.'" Michaela Watkins on impersonating Arianna Huffington [NYT]

"I'm not a funny man. That's not who I am." Daniel Craig on moving from James Bond to a film about Nazis [MTV]

"Brian [Grazer] made a comment that I was the only man who had made love to over a thousand women and they all still liked him. And I do take some pride, in fact, that I remain friends with the majority of former wives and girlfriends. I am a romantic." Hugh Hefner [LAT]

Photo: Getty Images