Congratulations on surviving what most experts* describe as the most harrowing workweek of the year namely, the first week back after the holidays. After such a long week, our bones are certainly creaky, but our fingers are still fleet! Here’s hoping your eyes can follow along as we recap the first full week of 2009.
• Congratulations are due to Anne Hathaway, who won everything from a Golden Globe to the adulation of the New York Times this week. Meanwhile, Wall-E’s EVE and Kate Winslet sat on the sidelines steaming, along with everyone who landed on the Vulture’s Critics’ Poll of the Worst Movies of 2008 and the Razzies short list.
• We sorted through who knows how many tons of twisted steel to deliver you the Ten Greatest Movie Car Crashes.
• Even though we weren’t exactly sure if anyone cared, we watched the People’s Choice Awards anyway and ended up learning a line of poetry that everyone else in America apparently already knew: “Not even the rain has such small hands.” Or, more accurately, such large lips.
*Unfortunately, we don’t know any experts, so we just made this up. Don’t hold it against us. Laters!