Week in Review: You Win Some, You Lose Some

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Congratulations on surviving what most experts* describe as the most harrowing workweek of the year — namely, the first week back after the holidays. After such a long week, our bones are certainly creaky, but our fingers are still fleet! Here's hoping your eyes can follow along as we recap the first full week of 2009.

• Congratulations are due to Anne Hathaway, who won everything from a Golden Globe to the adulation of the New York Times this week. Meanwhile, Wall-E's EVE and Kate Winslet sat on the sidelines steaming, along with everyone who landed on the Vulture's Critics' Poll of the Worst Movies of 2008 and the Razzies short list.

• We found ourselves mildly excited at the prospects of seeing quality television in January, including the return of The Electric Company.

• Benicio del Toro got a little huffy with us, and Josh Brolin wanted to go gay with Sean Penn.

• In body-related news, Zac Efron put his balls on your tongue, and David Fincher threatened to put cigarettes out in his eyes.

• We sorted through who knows how many tons of twisted steel to deliver you the Ten Greatest Movie Car Crashes.

• The next Harry Potter got a PG-rating, and Seven Pounds got a new poster.

Mickey Rourke, Tayor Lautner, Charity Wakefield, Nick Frost, and Simon Pegg each started the New Year off right by landing some choice roles.

• Even though we weren't exactly sure if anyone cared, we watched the People's Choice Awards anyway and ended up learning a line of poetry that everyone else in America apparently already knew: "Not even the rain has such small hands." Or, more accurately, such large lips.

*Unfortunately, we don't know any experts, so we just made this up. Don't hold it against us. Laters!