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Can the Jonas Brothers’ 3-D Movie Save Our Economy?

Perhaps the more reasonable question is, Can the Jonas Brothers not save our economy? While our elected officials sit idly by watching banks fail and jobless Americans eat their shoes, our teenage overlords have a plan for real relief: Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert. Opening on 1,300 screens across our insolvent nation this weekend, the Jonas' extra-dimensional music-based stimulus package is expected to outearn last year's Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds, which made $65 million playing on just 649 screens. Vulture buddy Nikki Finke is reporting mass sellouts, and, to juice sales, the Jonas Brothers themselves have announced they'll make surprise appearances at several screenings this weekend. The film is also expected to spur new infrastructure projects as governments finally realize their existing roads and highways are not adequate to handle Jonas-related traffic.

Jonas brothers eye boxoffice crown [HR]