The L Word: Enraging the Entire Sapphic Nation

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Oh, and her. Photo: Courtesy of Showtime

As we get closer to the series finale (two more episodes after this one), the show has been rolling out more and more random acts of asshole-ness by Jenny, increasing the pool of people who'd want to hold her underwater. This week's episode (with the strangle-worthy name of "Lactose Intolerant" … really? Really?) features Jenny unleashing her special brand of terror.

She hosts a baby shower for Max and then proceeds to reveal to Dylan nonchalantly that she'd been put to the Nikki Stevens test and spied upon by the whole crew. She makes Max dress up as Willy Wonka at his own party, making him look even more ridiculous than usual. She peers into Bette's window and misinterprets an innocent pose between Bette and Kelly and takes a snapshot with her iPhone as evidence. She tells Shane that oysters taste like some guy releasing his special sauce into your mouth and then, after downing a few, Shane is later seized with the hurls (this seems like happenstance, but whatever, we'll blame Jenny). What other antics will Jenny be up to as the series winds down? If only she would sing an acoustic version of the show's ear-melting theme song intermittently during the next episode to ensure that the entire Sapphic nation hits the streets bearing torches and pitchforks, all calling her name.

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Bette and Tina have hired a general contractor who is the dykiest-looking person to ever grace the L Word soundstage, but this lady repeatedly asserts her heterosexuality, confusing B&T and America. It is determined that if she is not a dyke, she is a "yikes!"

Jenny buys Shane a fully loaded photography studio, because apparently Shane has aspirations of being a professional shooter. We don't recall Shane ever discussing this career path before, nor do we recall ever seeing Shane with a camera. Perhaps this was all going down while Jenny was reciting exciting prose to manatees.

Hook Ups
Will the third-wheel crush turn into real-world threesome? Signs are pointing toward Tasha and Jamie running off together. First, Tasha sublimates urges after accidentally seeing Jamie naked by immediately pouncing on Alice. Then, Tasha reveals her innermost thoughts about growing up only when around Jamie, whom she feels a bond with because they both come from families who wear uniforms. In some lesbian circles, this might count as second base.

Shane sneaks out of Bette's gallery opening with Nikki and brings her back to her new darkroom. Just as they're beginning to make out, Shane barfs. It's Jenny Schecter's Revenge. Nikki takes off and a prostrate Shane has Jenny come take her home and nurse her. How many dysfunctional relationships have added a year or two onto their existence once a stomach virus or some such malady that no one wants to deal with alone comes into the picture? We'd say four out of five.