The Week an Opening Number Changed the World

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When historians write the book on the events of this past week, what will they deem most important? Will it be Poster Boy's vandalism of a few MoMA subway ads? Or how we finally, maybe, almost learned who the Hipster Runoff guy is? Or perhaps the time Kanye West told everybody that Thom Yorke was basically worse than O.J. Simpson? We doubt it! Clearly this week belonged only to Hugh Jackman and his world-changing opening number at last Sunday's Oscars. For posterity, though, after the jump Vulture looks back on all the other boring crap that happened.

• Vulture hero Anil Kapoor proved that teleportation is possible.

• It took twenty people to hand out four awards.

• Philip Seymour Hoffman wore a hat.

• We helped Mickey Rourke win his next Oscar.

• Harry Knowles shocked the world.

• There was a drunken coat-check fiasco at MoMA.

• Michel Gondry got a job.

• Another beloved Lost character [spoiler, spoiler, spoiler]!

• Michel Gondry got a job.

• "Jai Ho" finally got the Japanese remix it was just begging for.

Fake beards were sold out all over Los Angeles.

• We counted down Lost's most adorable babies.

• Locke came back to life.

Slumdog Millionaire won a few awards.

• Michel Gondry got a job.

• The Jonas Brothers saved the economy.

• Philip Roth went back to work.

• Mickey Rourke prepared a speech for nothing.