Vulture

Skip to content, or skip to search.

backlash

What’s the Matter With Watchmen?

From the minute nerds first laid eyes on the first trailer for Zack Snyder's faithful-seeming movie adaptation of Alan Moore's Watchmen comic, its status as 2009's most geek-anticipated event movie has gone practically unchallenged. And endless early marketing, along with Fox's stakes-upping copyright lawsuit, only added to the frenzy. But no matter how perfect and successful a movie is, comic-book fans always find something to complain about — so what will they hate about this one? What will be Watchmen's growly Batman voice? We speculate, after the jump.

Malin Ackerman's acting: Today, for the first time, Warner Bros. released a clip of a full scene from the movie. Sadly, it's one featuring the dead-fish thespianism of Ackerman as Silk Spectre II. Based on all available evidence, we think it's totally possible she could be reading from cue cards.

Speaking of the marketing: On our short walk from the subway to work today, we saw no fewer than six different Watchmen ads, on pay phones, buses, bus stops, and billboards. Is any of this even necessary? Nerds are already completely aware that it's being released on March 6, but how much of an effect does all this advertising have on the public at large, who've probably never heard of the original comic? Also, we were already annoyed weeks ago by all the viral online advertising. At what point will people with no previous interest in Watchmen start to get sick of it?

"The visionary director of 300": Even fans wowed by Watchmen's first trailer back in July rolled their eyes at the tagline. In today's Times, Brooks Barnes notes that it looks even sillier when blown up on a billboard. So what if all of Snyder's "visionary" (and probably unnecessary) slow-motion fight scenes turn out to be distracting? What if it's all style over substance, as one new review seems to imply. How many critics will quote this hilarious slogan in their negative reviews?

Nipples: If all of the things above somehow fail to start a backlash, but some imperceptible thing about Watchmen still feels off, we can always blame it on these.

"The visionary director of 300": Even fans wowed by Watchmen's first trailer back in July rolled their eyes at the tagline. In today's Times, Brooks Barnes notes that it looks even sillier when blown up on a billboard. So what if all of Snyder's "visionary" (and probably unnecessary) slow-motion fight scenes turn out to be distracting? What if it's all style over substance, as one new review seems to imply. How many critics will quote this hilarious slogan in their negative reviews?

A Director of Two Films Is Suddenly a ‘Visionary’ by His Third [NYT]
"Staggering Failure" [H-E]
'Watchmen' Producers Confident Enough To Release Terrible First Scene Into The Wild [Defamer]

Photo: Courtesy of Warner Bros.